3:15 and I’m still awake. I guess that’s what happens when you drank mint tea that probably had caffeine in it at dinner, were still sweating at 11p.m., and then proceeded to intake more caffeine accidentally in order to get rid of body pains. Stupid Midol!
It’s amazing what thoughts spew through your head when all you want to do is sleep. You lay awake in the pitch blackness, staring up at what you know is the ceiling, praying that the rustling of the sheet against your leg is just that, rather than some bug (or God forbid, a roach) that has managed to reach the top of the bed. After exhausting the possibilities of your wardrobe for tomorrow, ruling out all the long-sleeved, sweater-like, too-thick-of-cotton outfits, you move on to your minimally furnished bedroom. The crafty person inside you wants to paint fantastic designs on the bedside tables and walls, including verse-adorned mirrors that will eventually be on the wall. They’re lofty thoughts, but it’s 2 hours before sun-up, so what else would be running through your head? Your thoughts turn to the natives in the street. The raucous noise has died down since Fatur, but every once in a while you hear the muffled and indistinct strains of a conversation passing by, the squeal of smashing breaks as a hurried driver misses (possibly barely) a pedestrian, and the roar of his engine as he races down the remaining road, thankful for the peace again. You wonder what the world looks like in the dark—the unfamiliar streets, parking lots, flats, and garbage-laden sidewalks that you saw during the day would all be a blanket of darkness--except of course, for the few (or possibly many) street lamps that penetrate the darkness. For the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness doesn’t understand it.
In an attempt to grow weary, you put in an earbud and listen to the sounds of your favorite iPod playlist. It’s titled Bathtub—a title only you understand, but you enjoy the relaxing mood it conjures up, and pray that this will be the sheep to put you over the edge--the last number before falling asleep. The voice of Brandon Heath actually keeps you awake longer. His song about love prods your thoughts to turn to another road as a cock crows in the distance—how is 3:22a.m. even a time that people should be waking??? Love is not proud, love is not rude. . . love after all matters the most. Love never fails you. You’re in this distant land, awake in a strange bed with an even stranger pillow. You’re hot but the fan’s too breezy. You’re cold but no air makes you sweat. You’re hungry but there’s nothing to snack on. You’re thirsty but making tea or warm milk would wake your mother. How will you survive tonight let alone hundreds of them? A voice whispers in your ear “You are my child whom I love. Even though you’re awake when most are asleep, I see you. I know your fears. I knew you would be here before you were even born. I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you in Morocco and not to harm you—plans for a hope and a future. I know what you desire; I see what you want for your future. If you open up to me, you will be putting your future in the best hands. Don’t be afraid of what I have to offer. I will not let you down like the others have. Place me in the front, make no other idols before me, and see what I will accomplish for you. Test me and see what I won’t do. There is nothing I won’t do for you, no door that won’t be open to you. I will give you the grace to accomplish the tasks you see as mountains before you. You are my child, my daughter whom I love. In you I am well-pleased. You have followed me to this strange land, and I will use your open and willing heart.” Thank you for your truths. Thank you for your peace. It’s 3:26. . .perhaps now I can fall asleep in the arms of Isa—the one who brings a peace that passes understanding.
